


Men Of Our Vices

by neoguri



Category: Block B
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Eating Disorders, Flash Fic, Gen, Other, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 21:08:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20552726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neoguri/pseuds/neoguri
Summary: * trigger warning: eating disorders *





	Men Of Our Vices

**Author's Note:**

> * trigger warning: eating disorders *

Kyung could barely hear his own thoughts over the pulsing wall of noise. It pressed in on him from all sides, suffocating him. An elbow jabbed into his ribs, arms jostled his. Sweat and perfume and bodies that moved erratically, haphazardly. Chaos. He needed out.

He waded through the sea of people. Someone called to him as he pushed open the back door, but he ignored her. The fresh air hit him like a slap to the face and he sucked in a breath through his teeth, invigorated. He leaned against the wall in the back alley and watched the yellow light across the street flicker, as if in a horror movie, while the club music pulsed faintly behind him.

He fished in one pocket. Then the other. Then in the first one again, just to be sure. He cursed.

"Need a smoke?"

Kyung barely spared Minhyuk a glance as he took the cigarette between two fingers. "What a coincidence," he said. He pinched the cig between his teeth.

"Not really." Minhyuk cupped a hand around it and flicked his lighter a couple times. The breeze caught it, made the tiny flame flicker. "We're men of our vices." The end lit up, and Kyung sucked in the first breath of smoke, leaning back against the wall.

"That's poetic of you," Kyung said.

Minhyuk shrugged.

"Another breakup?"

"Yeah."

Kyung snorted. "Don't know why you still bother."

Minhyuk rolled one shoulder, then the other, and flexed his fingers. Kyung had come to interpret that as 'watch your mouth or I'll fucking break you.'

"What about you? All you've eaten today is tobacco and beer," Minhyuk said. The flame lit up his face, eerily, and then threw it into shadow as it dwindled, and he blew out a cloud of smoke.

"I'm working on it," Kyung said.

"Yeah, right."

Silence. The street light flickered once more, then went out.

"I fucking miss you," Kyung said.

Minhyuk grunted. "Nice way of showing it."

"I know how lonely you've been. And I'm sorry."

"Sure," Minhyuk said.

Kyung drew in a deep breath and coughed, loudly and suddenly, doubling over. Every muscle in his body shook. He tasted bile in the back of his throat, sour, mixed with the bittersweet smoke. Minhyuk took his arm and helped him stand back up. He was solid, a rock in a storm.

Minhyuk's voice had changed - subtly, but Kyung knew him. "Don't die, kid."

"Everyone dies," Kyung said. There was a scratchiness in his throat now that he couldn't get rid of.

"Yeah, but not you. Not now."

"Not when you need me," Kyung said.

"Something like that."

Another silence. Kyung couldn't catch his breath. No matter how deeply he breathed, his lungs wouldn't fill.

"You're a good guy," Minhyuk said. His eyes glittered black as he watched the car headlights pass over the cross street, yellow-white light pooling into the alley for a moment before sweeping away with a rush. "We're worried about you."

"You have your own concerns," Kyung said.

"You  _ are _ my concern."

"Mind your own business."

"I fucking would, if I didn't miss you too," Minhyuk said.

The smoke pricked at Kyung's eyes and made them water.

"Then talk to me," he said. "And not about work."

Minhyuk wasn't listening. "I miss you," he said again. "I miss you all. I miss the way things were. Can't we just go back to that?"

"You know we can't," Kyung said.

"There were a few years there," Minhyuk said, "where it was really good." He punched his clenched fist into the wall, rhythmically, as he leaned against it. He didn't seem to know what it was doing. "I don't know what happened," he said. "Everything seems to have gone wrong. I don't know what, or how…"

"Hyung," Kyung said.

"I don't even know what's going on in my life. I'm just letting everything happen to me. I don't seem to have the wheel anymore, I'm just in the backseat, waiting for the next terrible thing -"

"Minhyuk," Kyung said in alarm, "stop it."

"Listen to me."

"No," Kyung said. " _ You _ listen to me _ . _ You're hurting yourself."

Minhyuk glanced down for only a moment, then shook out his hand and shoved it back in his pocket. He took a deep drag from his cigarette. "Sorry," he said through a puff of smoke.

"I know what you mean," Kyung said, after a while.

"Yeah," Minhyuk said. "Almost makes you wonder what's the point."

Kyung dropped his cigarette and ground it into the pavement with his heel. "And then I find you in the back alley with me and I remember."

"Exactly."

Kyung shivered. Minhyuk shrugged off his coat and wrapped it around Kyung's shoulders without a word. Kyung pulled it tight around him and rested his head on Minhyuk's shoulder.

"Don't feel like going back in," Kyung said.

"Makes sense," Minhyuk said.

He put out his cigarette and drew Kyung into a tight embrace, folding Kyung into the center of his chest.

"My car's out front," he said into Kyung's hair. "I'll make you food."

"I don't want to eat."

"But you will."

"Yeah."

"I felt empty," Minhyuk said. "With her. I loved her, but… Something was missing."

They both knew what that something was. So neither of them said it; Kyung hugged a little tighter, and Minhyuk rubbed his back.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading and as always, I hope your soul suffered


End file.
